


soft waves

by snails_n_brokenbones



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Metaphors, Ocean, Terminal Illnesses, talk of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:28:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28757352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snails_n_brokenbones/pseuds/snails_n_brokenbones
Summary: Nico took a deep breath. He was drowning in an ocean. Dark waves crashing and churning him over and over again. But he focused on Will's soft touch and slowly the waves calmed. Soft waves and soft touch.-Will is sick. Nico is angry. Nothing is okay
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 14
Kudos: 47





	soft waves

Nico doesn't know why Will doesn't angry. Nico's angry. Angry at fate and how hopeless this all feels. It's a pit. There's a hole in the floor and they're slipping in wet tiles and what's the point of holding on?They'll fall eventually. 

Point is, Will had every right to be angry. But he smiles. Or, on bad days, he'll frown slightly at the ceiling, then crack another joke. And Nico will pretend that it's also fine, because how do you start that conversation? 

Will is watering the plants, his hands clutching the watering can. He insisted that he needed the watering can. Said that the plants would grow better with authentic water from an authentic watering can. Whatever that means. And Nico is watching him, pretending to be absorbed in the book that he's reading. He's been on the same page for fifteen minutes. He hates reading, but it's a good excuse. 

Will's reading poetry to the plants. Poetry that his dad used to whisper to him every night. Shitty haikus. Nico almost suggests that the horrid poetry is maybe why most of the plants die, but Will's fond smile at the poems makes him pause. It's Nico's favourite smile. One that reminds him of faint sunny days and swimming in the ocean. Memories from when they were kids. Soft blankets. So Nico let Will tell the plant's his father's shitty haikus. 

It was sweet. 

-

Bad days come every so often. Like waves. Tides that moves back and forth. Or late night roaring waves that crashed against the jagged cliffs like cymbals. Nico hated bad days. Of course, he had his fair share of them, but those were different bad days. A heavy weight. This was light. This was a fading ache. A gradual thing. 

Will was frowning at the ceiling. His eyebrows were scrunched slightly, and his legs were crossed over Nico's lap. The bowl was resting on the floor and Kayla was awkwardly sat on the beanbag. Nico hadn't liked Kayla at first, but they'd come together over a common love. 

Will. 

So they tolerated each other. Because right now Will was more important. 

Will sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm gonnna miss this the most. My hair, I mean." Several strand fell out with his hand and he sighed again. 

So, from Kayla's suggestion, they were here. Will was sitting on the bathroom floor, because his knees didn't want to behave like knees today, and the bowl was by his side, because his stomach was a rolling tide that wouldn't stop moving. And Kayla was holding the razor and Nico was hesitant. 

Then Will's hair was gone. Golden locks on the bathroom floor. Will was grinning. Nico was not. Nico wanted to scream for this to all stop because hadn't he seen this in the movies? Shaving made it real. Being bald made it feel real. 

Soon Kayla's head was bare. And she was holding out the razor to Nico. 

He was hesitant. 

But Will came first. And Nico wanted Will to smile. 

So Nico's head was bare and bald and Will didn't just grin.... 

He kissed Nico. 

-

Will was grinning and Nico was melting at the knees. Apples fell all around them from the trees and faint music played from Will's phone. 'Strawberry Blond' to be more specific. It was one of Will's favourite songs, and Nico had grown fond of it. 

Will moved his hand to ruffle Nico's hair, but paused and chuckled. "It still feels weird. I keep forgetting and grab the hairbrush in the morning." 

Nico laughed at that and leaned his head on Will's shoulder, running his thumb over Will's cheek. He then connected the freckles like constellations with his forefinger. Will's skin was soft to the touch, if a tad too warm. 

Nico didn't bother worrying. 

Today was a good day. 

It was a Solace tradition, picking apples. Naomi had considered cancelling it what with everything not going great currently, but Will insisted that they had to. Because even if everything wasn't great, didn't that give them more reason to do something fun? And he didn't want things to stop on his behalf. Nico had been surprised to get an invite, but Naomi reassured him that he was part of the family. 

Will laughed loudly and tugged Nico up, spinning giddily. "C'mon, let's dance!" He grabbed Nico's hands and began to dance. Will's knees buckled dangerously but he kept dancing and his grin made up for it all. 

"I love you." Nico said, finding that the words had slipped out without him realising. He didn't regret them exactly. They were the truth after all. He meant them. 

Will grinned. 

-

Will wasn't grinning anymore. 

There had been reason to worry. 

His skin had been too warm. Nico had assumed that it was just from the sun. The beginning of a sun burn, though Will applied sun cream like it was holy water. That warmth had been the start of a fever and now they were here…

At the hospital. 

Even if he was family at the apple picking, he wasn't family enough to actually visit Will. So he paced the waiting room as Naomi was with Will. Kayla was sitting in an uncomfortable hospital chair, tear stained face stuffed in a book. She'd been stuck in the same page for fifteen minutes already. She looked angry. She had every right to be angry. This sucked. 

Nico smacked his head against the wall, winding as the blaring lights assaulted his senses. He could feel a headache coming on. He was too worried to really care about himself. Worried about Will. About his boyfriend. About his lover. 

This sucked. 

Nico was angry. Angry at whoever rolled the dice and sorted the cards. Will was the best. He was kind and selfless, everything that Nico wasn't. And he got this. 

Nico would take it all in a heartbeat, if just to see Will look healthy again. One heartbeat and it'd be okay. Because Will would be grinning. Not stuck in a stupid hospital bed and none of this was fair and Will had every right to be angry and he should be angry so why wasn't he angry? 

There was a hand on his shoulder. 

Kayla. 

She didn't say anything, just looked at him with a mildly blank expression. But she kept her hand there, grounding him. And slowly his anger turned into waves, rolling up and down against a sandy beach. The ocean. Will loved the ocean. Loved swimming in the ocean. 

So Nico calmed down. 

For now. 

-

Will was trying to grin, but it was coming out more of a grimace. It wasn't his grin. This wasn't him. This was some alien and the real Will would pop out of the closest and grin at Nico. 

"It's temporary. Until I can keep food down." Will's voice was quiet. Hesitant. Unsure. So unlike the normal Will. 

'This' was referring to the feeding tube. Until Will could keep food down. Temporary. 

But it was so there. It existed and Nico felt sick to the bottom of his stomach. Metaphorically. Will was the one who was actually sick. 

Fuck. 

Nico sat next to Will, on the blue bed. This didn't feel real, yet too real at the same time. It was supposed to be a dream but it wasn't. Normal Will was supposed to pop out the closest. Normal Will wasn't supposed to look this sick. Nico wanted everything to be normal again. 

He ran a finger over Will's cheek, which was thankfully not warm anymore. It was cool against his finger and Nico's breath hitched when his finger touched the hospital-issued medical tape holding the tube in place. He swallowed the lump in his throat. 

Will smiled wryly at Nico, taking his hand in his own. They were both silent, but Will kept holding Nico's hand. Silence. 

Will kissed Nico softly. 

-

It was supposed go be a good day. They were all playing Cluedo. Harry Potter Cluedo to be more precise. Kayla had gone into debt/ran out of tokens, so she was lounging against Will, who had Nico hugging his other side. It felt like a normal day. 

If Nico ignored the feeding tube. 

And just about everything else apart from the board game. 

Will showed one of his cards to Naomi. Kayla caught a glimpse of it and wiggled her eyebrows at the card. 

"Oooooh." She let out, moving her eyebrows up and down like they were caterpillars. 

Will smacked her stomach and tickled he with his free hand. "That's it. I absolutely refuse to give you my pet rock collection when I'm gone."

Silence. 

Shocked silence. 

Will groaned and smacked his forehead with his hand. "Guys… I didn't quite mean it like it-"

Nico stood up suddenly, untangling his arms from around Will. He marched to the bathroom. He couldnt think about it. Will being gone. 

A missing beat in his favourite song

A missing colour from the rainbow

A missing smile in a crowd

A missing hand holding his

A missing lover. 

He couldn't loose Will. 

There was a hand around his waist. 

Will. 

Nico took a deep breath. He was drowning in an ocean. Dark waves crashing and churning him over and over again. But he focused on Will's soft touch and slowly the waves calmed. Soft waves and soft touch. 

"I'm sorry. It slipped out and I didn't think-" Will began. 

Nico shook his head and brushed his fingers over Will's cheek. "Don't apologize. Just-" He took a deep breath. "I'm scared Will. Aren't you too? Aren't you upset and angry and sad? You're allowed to be angry. "

When he finally spoke, Will's voice was oddly cold. "I know. But what good does it do? I can be as angry as I want, but it doesn't change anything. I've got to just deal with it and get on with everything. I've got no other choice."

Nico signed and leaned his forehead against Will's. The bathroom was uncomfortably cold, but he was not about to suggest that they move somewhere else. The moment was too precious for that. "You don't have to deal with alone though. You can cry." 

Will nodded slightly. He still looked unconvinced. "I don't want to cry." 

"Okay. You don't have to cry then." 

So Will didn't cry. 

But he didn't grin either. 

-

Will was watering the plants while Nico sat there. This time he wasn't pretending to read some novel, but instead just keenly watching Will and listening to the shitty poetry. 

When Will got to one haiku in particular, Nico frowned slightly. Confused. 

"Where did you find that one? Did your dad write it?" He asked, standing next to Will. 

Will nodded. "Yeah. It's a newer one. He wrote when I first got sick. It's been… helpful some days. Days when I wonder why I'm trying if it's just going to end. "

Nico didn't like the words he was hearing, but he listened nonetheless. 

And Will continued. "We're all gonna go at some point. I just might go quicker than y'all. Because life isn't quite fair." 

Nico wrapped his arm around Will and bridge his fingers over his cheek. Somewhere in the distance soft waves lapped against the sandy beach. Back and forth. 

Today was a good day.


End file.
